Starting fresh after divorce is one of the most difficult things you can do, but it’s also one of the most important steps you can take in getting your life back on track after your marriage ends. Taking the time to heal and evaluate what you want for your future is an opportunity for success in every area of your life.
Try using these 10 inspirational tips for rebuilding your life after divorce to start fresh and create the new life you deserve!
1. Time for Deep Rest
As you’re adjusting to life after divorce, it’s important to take time to heal. Going through a divorce is exhausting. Taking quiet time to rest your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual self will help you reset your energy levels and give you space to process your new reality.
Instead of spending all of your time doing, set aside some time each day where you can just be. Consider taking a break from social media and quieting the noise of everyday life to allow time to grieve the loss of your marriage and time for your healing.
Deep Rest Ideas to Benefit Your Mental, Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual Health:
- Rest with a cup of tea and journal about what’s on your mind.
- Go for a walk and listen to music in nature.
- Practice yoga.
- Meditate or practice deep breathing exercises.
- Do something creative.
- Take a quiet weekend getaway to reset in nature.
2. Honor Your Emotions
You may experience an ocean of emotions after your divorce is finalized. There’s nothing wrong with feeling badly after divorce. While forgiveness may not come quickly, it is important to honor your feelings and give yourself time to heal.
Your healing journey will be filled with ups and downs; however, the more you allow yourself to feel and the more space you give yourself to heal, the easier it will be to move forward in a healthy way.
Emotions You May Experience During and After Divorce:
- Acceptance
- Anger
- Confusion
- Denial
- Depression
- Exhaustion
- Fear
- Frustration
- Grief
- Guilt
- Joy
- Loneliness
- Overwhelmed
- Relief
- Resentment
Whatever feelings come up for you, recognize the emotion and put a name to it. Try and accept the feeling without judgment. Is there a lesson in the feeling? Can you gain insight and clarity about the cause of that feeling?
2. Keep Up with Your Friends
While divorce can feel like the end of your world, having friends around you who remind you that life is still worth living can make a huge difference.
It’s important to keep up with friends who help you grieve the loss of your marriage and also help you see beyond what’s happened. Don’t let yourself get too isolated after divorce—be sure to spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself and the future ahead.
3. Be Patient with Yourself
Dealing with divorce is no small matter—but that doesn’t mean you have to give up on love forever. Patience and forgiveness aren’t easy, but they are crucial steps toward healing.
If you jump right back into dating after divorce, you could find yourself repeating old mistakes or getting hurt again. Be patient with yourself and enjoy your time alone. Be prepared to accept that forgiveness may not come quickly—or at all! If it feels too soon to date, don’t push yourself.
4. Reflect and Try to Figure Out What Went Wrong
A failed marriage can lead to a more successful relationship in the future. Learn from your past and ask yourself what went wrong in your marriage, and you may come to realize there were red flags—or simply a feeling of unhappiness that simmered away over the years.
Knowing what didn’t work in your marriage can inform what you do want in a future relationship and even help you understand what you might do differently going forward.
5. Deep Clean and Reorganize Your Life
Now is a great time to deep clean and organize your space. Taking care of your living space is a gift to yourself and may even feel therapeutic after a divorce.
It’s like literally wiping your slate clean and it can help you to begin your post-divorce life with a refreshed and organized mindset.
Put away old reminders of your spouse: Photos, letters, and other mementos that remind you of your ex aren’t worth cluttering up your space. Consider throwing them out, or if you have children together you may want to store them somewhere until you’re ready to confront them again.
6. Deep Dive and Reimagine Your Life
After your divorce is finalized, it’s a good time to take a deep dive and reimagine your life ahead. You no longer have a spouse. You’re not husband and wife. You have the power to rebuild your life and become the version of yourself you desire.
Take time to think about what you want for your future. Daydream about what your ideal day looks like, your ideal career, or maybe even a fresh new personal style. Reinventing yourself can be empowering and a solid foundation for creating new habits moving forward.
Evaluate yourself, and your life in terms of finances, relationships, career, and the pursuit of happiness; with a clear picture of how each area is doing, set realistic goals for improving your life.
7. Take Action
This advice is simple and obvious, but it’s important to note that you can only change your life by taking action. No one else can create the change you want in your life; you have to invest the time and energy in order to achieve any kind of meaningful progress.
Don’t expect to grieve the loss of your marriage for more than a few months and then forget about it for a new life—it’s too great of a loss to be brushed aside so easily. But you can tap into your potential, be courageous and take small actionable steps to achieve the life you desire.
8. Create a Morning Routine
Creating a morning routine is one of easiest ways to get yourself moving in a healthy direction. It’s easier to create habits when you’re fresh and inspired, so making time first thing every morning to work out, meditate, pray or read can help you form positive habits. When your morning routine is intentional, you can create change in your life!
9. Create an Evening Self-Care Routine
As your journey to rebuild your life moves forward, it’s important to find ways to take care of yourself. Research suggests that self-care can play a significant role in helping you move beyond divorce and work toward building a new and happy life.
If you want your healing journey to end in happiness, it’s crucial that you take care of yourself during tough times—and one easy way to do so is by creating an evening self-care routine.
Ideas to Include in Your Self-Care Routine:
- Take time for an evening skincare routine.
- Enjoy a long hot bath with soothing bath salts.
- Use aromatherapy to help you relax.
- Sip on herbal tea and read a book instead of watching tv.
- Take your dog for a walk.
- Watch the sunset.
- Set yourself up for the next day by writing your to-do list or lay your clothes out.
- Prep a healthy breakfast and lunch for the next day.
10) If You’re Feeling Stuck, Ask for Help
There is power in talking through your feelings. Seeking help from a therapist is an act of self-care. Therapy after divorce can help you move through your healing process by offering honest feedback, coping skills, stress-management, and help you put your failed marriage into perspective.
Support groups can be a good place to vent, discuss common struggles and issues (such as how the divorce will affect your children), and get support from people who are going through the same thing.
A support group can help you feel more normal when it feels like everyone around you is moving on with their lives while yours is at a standstill. Support groups also teach members that they don’t have to carry the burden of divorce alone.
It may be a cliché, but it’s true: You have to do what makes you happy. Just remember that divorce doesn’t mean failure – it simply means starting fresh. It also means taking a step back from your life to figure out what makes you happy and what doesn’t so you can make some adjustments accordingly.
If You Have Questions About Divorce Law in Virginia, We Can Help
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